The Fangirl Wars...
by Miaka-baka
Summary: This is a step by step fic (taught by the loveable nyan nyan)to understand how to claim AND keep your bishie-even in the heat of competition. Things may get ugly here folks... cussing, miaka-bashing, nyan nyan torture, insanity,& all that other good stuff
1. Ready, Set, CLAIM!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything  
  
AN: You know those fangirls, with all their...fangirlness? ^.^ very obsessed over an anime and a VERY handsome bishie! (*hugs tasuki*) it's a tough life!! There's other rival fangirls EVERYWHERE!! Just competing for YOUR BISHIE!! One wrong move, one turn of the head to get coffee, and POOF! He's someone else's bishie!! You have no longer claimed him.  
  
The fangirl wars...  
  
This is a step by step lesson to understand how to claim AND keep your bishie...even in the heat of competetion. Things may get ugly here folks...  
  
Step 1: Claim a bishie  
  
Nyan nyan: here I am...again...-.-;; as if being the host in *How to get your favorite FY character* wasn't enough stress!sheesh! locking Chichiri up in that cage was the WORST decision of my life! I still have tama-neko's jaw prints! For a little cat he sure bites hard...  
  
Miaka-baka: *coughs* *points to script of fic*  
  
Nyan nyan: *SIGH* right. As usual, the poor nyan nyan is subjected to this...weird form of torture. *gets look from Miaka-baka* alright alright!!! im on it!  
  
*takes out chalkboard and chalk from...anywhere. *  
  
Nyan nyan: This is a step-by-step training program for you new Fangirls, and for those who just sadly couldn't compete with the harsh world of Fangirlness and need lessons to RECLAIM THEIR BISHIE!! *strikes as a dramatic pose as a Nyan nyan can strike...ends up looking dumb*  
  
*classroom of fangirls looking up at nyan nyan with sweatdrops*  
  
Nyan nyan: ...im embarrassing myself arent I?  
  
Miaka-baka: completely making an ass of yourself. Utterly insane, unstable, ment-  
  
Nyan nyan: *gags authoress* that's quite enough! What she means is that you first find a good anime, preferably one with good grafics- I mean, bad pictures make bad bishies!! We all want cute bishies right? ^.^ ...WRITE THIS DOWN!!!  
  
*scribbling pencils*  
  
Neko-chan: umm...can we claim someone under our age? And what's the limit?  
  
Nyan nyan: egh...i don't see WHY you'd want someone under your ag-  
  
Neko-chan: ARE YOU DISSING CHIRIKO!!?!??! *takes out great mallet of Dammit* CUZ IF YOU ARE!!!...  
  
Nyan nyan: !!! ^.^;;;;;!!!! No no!! not at all...*mutters* especially not with that mallet around...  
  
Neko-chan: WHAT DID YOU SAY!? *takes out mallet threatenly*  
  
Nyan nyan: ^.^;;; well, about that OTHER question *takes out a stun dart* im not exactly sure. Everyone has their own limit I guess... there's no real limit. It'd be nice to have some from other animes, but...ah screw this! what this means is that the authoress doesn't have a clue about what she's talking...or making me talk about.  
  
*Miaka-baka (still gagged, thankfully): MYUS EI MUO!!! (translation: yes I do!, real meaning: what AM I talking about? What are duckies? THE ALIENS ARE AFTER MEEEEE…tra-la-la-la la...)  
  
Nyan nyan: *locks authoress in steel closet* man she's annoying! Moving on... be careful that your bishie has the traits you want!!  
  
If you're a gentle person for example, DON'T CHOOSE TASUKI!!  
  
If you have a problem with people who repeat things over, DON'T CHOSE CHICHIRI!!!  
  
If you're angry with people smarter than you, DON'T CHOOSE CHIRIKO!!  
  
If you hate teal haired people, DON'T CHOOSE TAMAHOME!!  
  
If you hate piggy mikos, DON'T FOR GoDS SAKE PLEASE DON'T CHOOSE MIAKA!! As she would be... a weird piggy, stupid, bishoujo. ^.^  
  
If you like your mirrors in your room to STAY PUT, DON'T CHOOSE HOTOHORI!!  
  
If you don't like purple haired crossdressers who could flip over your bed with a pinky, DON'T CHOOSE NURIKO!  
  
If you are really talkative, DON'T CHOOSE MISTUKAKE!!!  
  
If you don't like cats, ...tama-neko will come over and kick your ass! MREOW!! SUPER SD KITTIE CLAWS!!!!!  
  
Nyan nyan: know, homework tonight is to choose and write down the name of your bishie! (for reviewers who have a chance of being picked- write down your bishie in a review and praise thy authoress for her insanity. ^.^;; j/k. she's always been insane...)  
  
*gagged authoress somehow jumps outta closet*: if you want your name somehow mentioned in here *just review*!! I'll write the names down and randomly choose a name to put in the next chapter!! With more support comes more chapters!!!  
  
Nyan nyan: WHY THE HELL WONT YOU STAY PUT?!?!  
  
TBC???  
  
  
  
I chose Neko-chan cuz she's a bit weird, and cuz she's VERY VERY possessive about Chiriko-chan! ^.^  
  
but remember,if you want your name somehow mentioned in here *just review*!! I'll write the names down and randomly choose a name to put in the next chapter!! With more support comes more chapters!!!  
  
!and if you put ANY of my fics in your favorite's list and I find out, then you are almost 100% sure to be in the next chapter! 


	2. Heat of battle

Disclaimer: I AM THE OWNER OF THIS FIC but not FY and if you take it, this insane authoress is gonna find out and hunt ya down and get ya kicked off of Fanfiction.net…have a nice day…BUT NOT TOO NICE IF I FIND OUT YOU TOOK THIS FIC IDEA AWAY AND MADE UR OWN FIC BASED ON IT!!! *GLARE*  
  
Note: I AM *VERY* AND I REPEAT *VERY* happy with ALL you WONDERFUL reviewers! Your support has made this mai favorite fic! ^.~ I play favorites... im gonna update soon have no fear!  
  
  
  
Chapter 2: Is he the right bishie for you? (ultimate decision here)  
  
!!!!~ There were too many ppl putting me on their favorite's list!! IM SO HAPPY!! so im gonna take the first 5 and the rest go on the next chappie k? and for those that didn't put me on (*pout*) im still gonna randomly pick one..but no guarantee...i cant fit more than 6 ppl iin one chappie. sorry~!!!  
  
Nyan nyan: *sigh* im back...again… whoo…don't you just LOVE nyan nyan! *sarcastic* *mumble* so...I THOUGHT SHE WAS GIVING ME A BREAK FOR ONCE!! JUST A LITTLE VACATION BY THE BEACH OR SOMETHING! BUT Noooooooo SHE CALLS ME BACK DUE TO ...what was it now? "too much reviewers support!" WHAT KINDA REASON IS THAT!??! They didn't even say anytthing about NYAN NYAN!! *fumes*  
  
Miaka-baka: *sigh* Nyan nyan, do you have to start out EVERY fic and EVERY chappie with a complain?  
  
Nyan nyan: ...yes...but now it's over. *grins*  
  
Miaka-baka: AND??  
  
Nyan nyan: *mumbles* the fic...right, right. Geez... now today's lesson is...*searches around in script* I forgot! OH WELL! IM GONNA GO NOW C-  
  
Miaka-baka: *Lags Nyan nyan back*  
  
Nyan nyan: damnit! So close that time! Anyways, the sooner I get this over with the sooner I can get away from Oh-Insane-One over there.  
  
Miaka-baka: AWW!! HOW NICE!!  
  
Nyan nyan : -_-;; oooooookk… well this whole lesson is about MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION! You have to CHOOSE carefully to survive in the world of fangirls! They're cruel, ruthless, EVIL!! MUAHHAAA!! But seriously, make sure he fits you, that you'll love...wtf is this!? *SIGH* excuse me, WUV *cringe* him. *shudder* the fangirlness is getting to me...  
  
Draconsis: hey! we fangirls have feelings too! We're not crabby old odango (sp?)-haired annoying bobs of healingness like *SOME* people! *grins and sits back in chair*  
  
Sansele: yah! Besides, I already know *JUST* who *MY* bishie is! Chichiri! *swoon*  
  
Reevesgirl210: WHAT!? But Chichiri's MINE!!! YOU CANT TAKE HIM!!!!! *hisses*  
  
Sansele: NANI!!? YOU'RE CRAZY!! HE IS TOTALLY 100% MINE!!!!!! *glares*  
  
Chibigreenwizardmon: But YOU TWO cant take him! HE's MINE!! *pouts and crosses arms*  
  
*a serious glaring contest converses between the 3*  
  
Nyan nyan: ...so... I'm just glad I don't have to have a bishie. Geez, the tension in this room!  
  
*silence*  
  
*the contest continues*  
  
Dragongoddess: hmm...well I'm going to take Chiriko! He's the kawaiiest sweetest little seishi. I love him!  
  
Neko-chan:NO FUCKING WAY!!!!!!! CHIRIKO-CHAN IS MINE AND MINE ALONE!! *HISSSSSSSSSSSSS* *takes out great staff of Dammit* WHY YOU LITTLE!!*chases after dragongoddess*  
  
Dragongoddess: LITTLE CHIRIKO OF KAWAIINESS HELPPP MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!  
  
Neko-chan: THAT's MY NAME FOR HIM!!!!!!! YOU'RE DEADDDDDDDDD!!!!!  
  
*the wonderful You-Know-Someone's-Gonna-get-Stabbed music plays*  
  
Wree wree wree!!  
  
Draconsis: tsk tsk...look at them! Fighting over one! I have my perfect one picked out and *NO ONE* is going to get him away from me! tasuki! *sigh*  
  
Seshiri: WHAT!??! *I* LOVE TASUKI THE BEST!!!! *gives draconsis the evil eye*  
  
*another glaring contest ensures*  
  
Nyan nyan: *looks around at the chaos in the room* egh...i think I wanna take my vacation now...  
  
Miaka-baka: *nods* they seem like they already picked out their favorites. And judging by the very very tense glaring contests, they're sure. Now, to figure out who gets Chichiri, Chiriko, or Tasuki, we need to have...DUNN DUNN DUNNNNNNNNN!!!!! THE FANGIRL FUEDS!!!  
  
!!!!A special edition The Fangirl Bishie fueds shall be the next chapter! Believe me it'll be funnny! Lol...see who has the most knowledge! For those with AIM,you *HAVE* to IM me at X x ShokorA x X for the quiz. Therefore I'll know your scores and I wont play favorites. For those without AIM, just email me at Shuijinghua@hotmail.com!!!!!  
  
TBC...  
  
No da... I might not update for a few days... my muses have gone on vacation. My RSDC, Robo-SD-chichiri in How to Catch ur fav. FY character (for kawaiiness in a fic) is falling asleep, my Chibi Nurinky(from teleseishi) (for sarcasm) is on vacation. The only one left is genrou... and if he's here all my fics end up in a cussing streak. ^.^;;  
  
Reviewies? For those who know me and what I believe to be enough encouragement, plz review! Remember your chances!! And plz check out my other stuff! I like Teleseishi too no da!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Wow I sure hope I got everyone's personality somewhat right...^.^ oh yah, Neko-chan wasn't part of the 5 ppl, it's just for her birthday. Sorry dragongoddess… you get something though! 


	3. Stabbity shiny bling bling

Disclaimer: same as before.  
  
AN: Wow.just.wow.  
  
It's been awhile hasn't it minna? I mean..i just got a review a few days ago from Rain (thanks btw) and right under it was a Raistlin's review from *A YEAR AGO*  
  
Amazing.  
  
I have REALLY gotten lazy and for that I apologize. Have I changed? Perhaps.I certainly retained a bit of my old humor, but I suppose the year has changed be (hopefully for the better) I'm gonna take a wak at this and see how it goes ne?  
  
There *WAS* a tiny lil problem, see I don't even know if half the reviewers are still ON ff.net. and I certainly wouldn't want to give their spot in fangirl fued away if they're still here, but I don't want to take it away from someone who wants if if they arent. Is anyone understanding this?  
  
more importantly, does anyone care?  
  
So erm..i suppose this'll have to do until people review again and then I'll decide who'll get the slots.  
  
The Fangirl wars..  
  
chapter 3: choose a weapon  
  
Nyan nyan: well..i asked for a vacation. I suppose this is what I get then. *sighs* good enough. A year to regain my sanity, now this'll put me back five years in therapy.  
  
Miaka-baka: shuddap and get on with the lesson. *stabs her with toothpick of doom*  
  
Nyan nyan: hasn't anyone ever told you that what you're doing is nyan nyan abuse?  
  
Miaka-baka: *cheery* uh huh! Now get on with the yap yap before I stab you again.  
  
nyan nyan:.. anywho. This would be a very obvious lesson for fangirls, plus a nice prep for those who want to be in the Fangirl Fueds. How would anyone defend their bishie if they didn't have a weapon? Well they wouldn't! they'd just get stepped on and then there's hair pulling and oh, it gets so inhumane after that. Broken nails, split ends- the HORROR.  
  
Miaka-baka: easy on the sarcasm now.  
  
Nyan nyan: bah. Weapons are used to defend Wild Savage Fangirls from stealing your bishie. After all- first rights. The Wild Savage Fangirls don't follow the complicated and advanced rules of our society such as "No biting if you have rabies ( or even if you don't )" and "first grab first claim." Try not to let them get within an arm's reach of you,unless you enjoy being wrapped up in saran wrap and thrown into the river. If that's your thing, please leave right now and take care of your freaky urges somewhere else.  
  
Miaka-baka: it's NOT FREAKY! Saran wrap floats! ..doesn't it? IT DOES RIGHT? It's SARAN WRAP! *rolls around in 4 feet of saran wrap* lalallaaaa.  
  
Nyan nyan: oh my..someone should've really locked her up and sent her back to whichever insane asylum she bounced out of.  
  
Random fangirl: get to the stabbity shiny bling bling!  
  
Nyan nyan:.what?  
  
Random fangirl 2: she means get to the weapons.  
  
Nyan nyan: ohhh..must be that new age talk.like "fat/phat" and "cool" and "wasted" just don't mean the same. I'm so glad I live in simpler times where when we say "tommy got stoned last night" MEANT tommy got stoned last night. (RIP)  
  
Random fangirl: who got stoned?  
  
Nyan nyan: erm. My breadstick. Anywho, weapons come in all various shapes, sizes, and shinyness. Here we will show you some common ones. Feel free to pick out your own of course. We like a little originality. First up is the axe/hatchet/sythe family.  
  
*tama-neko walks out carrying a SEXY little axe*  
  
tama-neko: meooowww *winks in suave kitty way and wanders off*  
  
fangirls: AWWWWwww  
  
Nyan nyan: hmph. It's always the fuzzy ones isnt it?  
  
Neko-chan: KURT!! WHERE FUZZY BLUE ELF? GIMME! *runs off to russia*  
  
nyan nyan: *sighs* MUST I be interupted all the time?  
  
Miaka-baka: pretty much.  
  
Nyan nyan:.kay. Next up would be the sword/dagger/ninja stars group.  
  
*hotohori walks out, flicks his hair over his shoulder, swings his sword around and flies- I mean walks, out*  
  
fangirls: *swooon*  
  
nyan nyan: try not to do too much of that dearies. It's not good for your health.  
  
Random fangirl: it's part of being a fangirl. Just like squealing and fainting and glomping and .  
  
nyan nyan: I get the point. Geez. Now we have the magic/psychic types.  
  
*chichiri walks out and "da"s*  
  
chichiri: daaa ^-^  
  
fangirls: *SQUEEEEEEALLLLL*  
  
miaka-baka: DON'T GLOMP THE STAGE! FOR THE LOVE OF SUZAKU BYAKKO GEN-  
  
*fangirls charge and knock over miaka-baka*  
  
Nyan nyan:.I would be appalled but finally she shuts up. So I'm content.  
  
*Robo-SD-Chichiri's come and place little cages over the more exciteable fangirls*  
  
Nyan nyan: thanks lil dudes. Let's get this over with. After those are certain nice ones such as metal fans, flying yo-yos, hand to hand, nunchucks, hammers, mallets, sporks, spatulas, blenders, rolling pins, teacups, telephone cords, stuffed animals, and hugging.  
  
Fangirls: *scribbes everything down*  
  
random fangirl: um.do we get to claim our weapon of choice NOW?  
  
Nyan nyan: sure. Just tell the authoress.where is she?  
  
Miaka-baka: *mumbles* i.hurt.limbs.broken.glomped beyond.repair.  
  
nyan nyan: *happy* then just leave it in a nice review and she'll give out the weapons after they finish rearranging her bones in the correct order.  
  
TBC.  
  
wow. It's been awhile since I wrote. I don't even know if that's funny anymore. It's not so.chirpy as before, but dude I'm tired and I have tons of homework waiting for me. this was just my rest period. A LONG rest period.  
  
as noted, put in your weapon that you'd like, and since it's been so long, your bishie that you want.  
  
I'll try and get everything sorted kay?  
  
Oh by the by, I'm pairing up with my best friend to do a little manga, more like I bribed her into doing the website and screentoning for MY manga..  
  
www.geocities.com/x_ataxia_x  
  
not completely up yet, but please support me on this? 


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